The way I live can be measured by intangible quantities that act to balance each other. For example, outwardly I convey myself as heteronormative in proportion to how gay I am feeling at any given moment. This kind of balancing act has made me good at a lot of things, but also serves to stifle my ability to excel at anything. I always make sure not to sway my hips too much. And I always make sure not to stare too long. And I always always always make sure to wipe my nose with my thumb because men wipe their noses with their thumbs.
Sometimes I wonder if I might actually be straight, and really just terrified of girls. I spend a lot of time marveling at how graceful and beautiful the female body is with its limbs. The girls I think are pretty are the girls who girls think are pretty. Models. Aliens. My attraction to women is a cold, calculated and scientific. High foreheads, wide-set eyes, and clear skin.